Too Blind to see
by Errol's Feather
Summary: Calleigh is conflicted about Horatio leaving her behind and soo realizes something she should have seen long ago.


_**Too blind too see**_

Calleigh was frustrated, her thumb pressed carefully on the trigger. Bang, missing target...Pressing on the trigger, this time she did manage to hit the target. Bang, perfect shoot. She sighed taking of the hearing aids. Tears falling from her emerald green eyes, salty and wet. Much like the ocean outside the lab.

Slowly she put her gun in the holster on her hip, stroking over it with a loving hand, then she stroked ever the holster with an equal loving hand. Old and worn out, a gift from Horatio. The man she was now angry with or maybe just disappointed. Although she had really no reason to be.

After all they were not a couple, perhaps they had never really been. They had been partners for what felt like forever, and flirted from time to time, but they were not really an item. Still it had felt like it half of the time. In fact it had felt like she was cheating on him when she got together with Eric, still she knew she had not. And now...

She hit her fists against the wall in her lab, her home, her sanctuary. She felt like she had spent half of her life in that room. Maybe she had, she had lost track of the years as they passed by, working had taken up too much of her time. She had for so long lived and breathed for her work, for him, she felt. When she finally adopted the children it even felt weird being home with them. She sighed, they were growing up too fast, she was slowly aging and there was nothing she could do to stop it, she knew that for a fact.

Her once golden hair was slowly turning white, then again she was no longer young. She sighed leaning her back against the wall wondering where the years had ran off to. Where was he now? Was it with her,.. His new wife?  
>Couldn't he at least have had the decency to tell her he was getting married, instead of just sneaking of. Of course he had the right to privacy everyone did, but she just felt like he should have told her. After all he was her best friend.<p>

And for him to do this to just write her a note and then...  
>She kicked the wall behind her like a stubborn child, very mature she knew. She didn't care though, she didn't even know why she hadn't seen this coming. Damn it!<p>

_**Dear Calleigh, my bulletgirl**_  
><em><strong>When you read this I am gone, I will be for some time. I am sorry, I just need a break from the lab after everything that has been going away lately. I want to spend some time with my family. I trust the lab to be in good hands with you. You always was the better one to run it. I will see you when and if I get back.<strong>_  
><em><strong>Horatio.<strong>_

When and if... She wasn't even sure if she could do this alone, run it, even with help from her coworkers. He was the boss, he always had been and she second in command. Of course she had taken over when he was on vacation and that had gone fine. Still forever...

Spend time with his family, she was his family, the lab were his family. They were each other's family. She felt more tears sting as she slowly closed up and walked to the elevator. Once upstairs she spotted Eric, he was on the phone with his wife. They had ended it a long time ago, because she... didn't love him. Maybe it had been stupid to hope Horatio would come around, especially since she had never told him how she felt. She had epected him to know. In the end it didn't really matter she figured. If they were meant to be it would have happened by now, but it hadn't, not at all.

She had become more like him, occupied by the work, almost consumed by it, had it not been for her children she had most never left. She didn't even allow herself to feel, unless it was with them.  
>She walked to her office slowly and sat down by her desk. She sighed heavily, so this was it, she was in charge. Most likely he would never come back and... She shook her head before resting it in hands.<p>

"Calleigh, you alright," a soft voice by the door.

Natalia, her sweet, sweet Natalia, the one that made her keep her sanity. She held up the letter for her to take it. The brunette took it and said, "So it is over, you and him, for good now?"

"What do you mean, we never were anything," the blonde was really confused now. This was not the time for riddles.

"Come on you always were something, almost an item, decline it all you like, we all knew it, why do you think it took Eric so long to make a move and Ryan never did," Natalia said with a half smile.

"This is not cheering me up, you know that right," said Calleigh, rolling her eyes with a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry, how can I cheer you up?" asked the brunette with a soft smile.

"I honestly don't know," said Calleigh frustrated.

"How about a night out on town, just the two of us?" Natalia suggested.

"Your boyfriend wouldn't mind?" Calleigh wondered.

"Oh didn't you know I dumped him," said Natalia in a playful tone.

"Why this time?" asked Calleigh, looking at her with wondering eyes.

"Just wasn't right I guess," she shrugged.

"I must ask, how many have you dated while I've known you?" the blond asked.

"More than I care to count, and you too little, so are you coming with or...?" the brunette didn't give up so easily. To be fair her hair was more grey than brown now.

"I guess," the blonde said, she didn't really have anything to lose. .

"Wonderful," said Natalia excited and walked towards the DNA lab. Calleigh shook her head when something dawned upon her. She remembered Natalia's first day at the lab, how she had smiled ever so brightly at her, she could never forget that. Then again the brunette usually always smiling to Calleigh and everyone else when they walked into the lab. Even on a bad day. The difference was that she on a bad day could tend to be a bit snappy.

Then her words came back to her, "So you are over now for good?" did it mean that she had hoped to get a chance with Calleigh, if so for how long. And why hadn't she said anything about that. It probably wouldn't have changed anything as the blonde was too hung up on Horatio to see it. Had she really been so blind. Had she really needed to feel this betrayed by her best friend to open her eyes. Maybe she had been wrong, maybe he hadn't been the love of her life after all. She got up from her desk, his old desk, the desk she considered as much hers as his.

She walked quickly to the DNA lab, her heels against the floor, white heels today, click, clack, hard, click clack. She poked her head into the DNA lab saying, "Natalia."

"Yes, Calleigh, what can I do for you?" the brunette looked up from the microscope. As far as she knew there were no test of any kind the blonde needed done right then.

"For how long?" the blonde asked, knowing that sounded really stupid.

Yet the brunette understood as once as she simply replied, "Always."

"Oh," Calleigh felt stupid, she should have seen this coming, the signs, subtle but there along the way. The ones she had been too blind to see. She looked at her standing there, naked, all exposed, all cards on the table, even that done in a subtle way. Natalia looked at her then, back down in the microscope, noting her findings down on a pice of paper to later type into her laptop. Letting the blonde take time to process. She didn't need to know why she never said anything, the why was Horatio.

"Is it too late?" the blonde asked, that sounded stupid as well. She looked down in the ground shyly, feeling younger than she had in ages.

"Too late for what?" now the brunette was a bit confused.

"To try this out...us," she said, not daring too look up, afraid she had lost her chance, in her heart knowing she had not.

"I don't want to be second prince," the brunette said with a sigh. She didn't want something the blonde settled for because she couldn't have Horatio.

"You wouldn't be, never, it would appear I was to blind to see what was right in front of me," said Calleigh with a heavy sigh.

"You can be really stupid sometimes," hurt in Natalia's voice.

"Yes I can, so?" she looked right at her now.

"No it is not too late," the brunette said.

"Good," Calleigh was about to walk away when she said, "I expect you to come home with me tonight, so turn away anyone that tries their luck."

"Yes, ma'am," said Natalia and smiled at her. She was happier than she had been in the longest time as she watched the blonde walked back to her office. Glad she had finally opened her eyes enough to see her.

* * *

><p>Thank you so much for reading, feedback is always appreciated :o)<p> 


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